From Nerves to “I Do”: How I Keep Your Ceremony Calm, Joyful, and Anything but Boring

From the moment a couple reaches out to book, the emotional journey to “I do” begins long before the wedding day itself. The season leading up to the wedding day is filled with excitement, nerves, and a deep desire for the ceremony to feel like “us,” not a generic script. My role is not just to stand at the front and say the words. It is to shepherd a couple from anxious anticipation to a calm, joyful, and unforgettable moment of commitment.

From Inquiry to “You’re in Safe Hands”

For most couples, that very first meeting with me sets the tone for the entire ceremony experience.

• Early on, I listen more than I speak, have you fill out a love story survey, asking how you met, what you value, your faith or worldview, and how you want the ceremony to feel: sacred, light-hearted, traditional, modern, or a blend.
• Instead of diving straight into logistics, I focus on understanding your story and your priorities, which reassures you that this will not be a cookie-cutter ceremony but something crafted with care.

That sense of being “seen” melts a lot of initial anxiety. Couples begin to relax when they realize they do not have to know all the answers or all the right words; they simply need to show up as themselves and let me guide the process.

Turning Your Love Story Into a Ceremony Plan

Once you decide, “Yes, you’re our officiant,” I start translating your relationship into a clear ceremony outline.

• I walk you through each element: processional, welcome, readings or prayers, personal vows, unity rituals, ring exchange, and the pronouncement, explaining what each part means and where your personalization can shine.
• Most couples are relieved to see the ceremony laid out step by step, with options and examples, so you can choose what fits and release the fear of “What if we forget something important?”

This is where your love story starts to take shape on the page. I ask questions like, “What was your first impression of each other?” or “When did you know this was the person you wanted to marry?” Your answers become the raw material for a custom narrative that will later make guests laugh, nod, and tear up.

Managing Nerves: Before You Walk Down the Aisle

Even the most confident couples feel a surge of nerves as the wedding day approaches, and I plan for that.

• In the days leading up to the ceremony, I keep communication clear, confirming the timeline, arrival details, and key cues, to reduce uncertainty, which is one of the biggest triggers for anxiety.
• When possible, I offer a brief run-through or rehearsal (in cooperation with the wedding planner if at hand), even if informal, so you and your wedding party know where to stand, when to move, and what to expect.

On the day itself, I arrive early, check in with you, and offer simple grounding reminders: breathe, look at each other, and remember that perfection is not the goal but connection is.

A Real Moment: Hannah and Mark’s Shaky Hands

Hannah and Mark, for example, were worried they would be too emotional to get through their vows.

• During our planning meeting, I suggested a simple strategy: hold hands during the vows, choose a short phrase to come back to if emotions overwhelmed them, and pause to breathe rather than rushing forward.
• On the wedding day, Mark’s hands were shaking as the ceremony began, so I gently reminded them, “Take a breath, look at each other, and remember why you’re here.”

Hannah laughed through her tears, squeezed Mark’s hand, and delivered her vows with a mixture of laughter and emotion that moved everyone there. Instead of trying to eliminate nerves, I helped them turn those real feelings into something honest and beautiful.

Practicing Cues and Keeping Things Smooth

One of the reasons my ceremonies feel calm and “unboring” instead of stiff and awkward is that behind the scenes, I am quietly managing the flow.

• Before the ceremony, I confirm cues with the DJ or musicians: when the processional music starts and fades, when to adjust volume, and when to transition to background music for unity rituals or signing.
• I coach you on where to stand, how to hold hands, when to pass flowers off, and how to position yourselves so you can be fully present and still visible in photos.

Because these details are handled in advance, you do not have to think about choreography during the ceremony. You can simply follow my gentle prompts: “Now take each other’s hands,” “You may face your guests,” “You may place the ring on her finger” and stay immersed in the moment.

When Things Go Sideways: Turning Hiccups Into Heart

Even with careful planning, weddings bring surprises. The mic cuts out, a ring bearer runs off, a parent becomes emotional, or the rings get briefly “lost” in someone’s pocket. When that happens, I do not panic; I use warmth and humor to keep everyone at ease.

• If a ring doesn’t slide on easily, I might make a lighthearted comment about “all this commitment” that sends a ripple of laughter through the guests and helps you relax.
• If a line needs to be repeated or a name gets momentarily mixed up, I recover gracefully, always keeping the focus on you rather than the mishap.

Those small, human moments often become some of your favorite memories, because they remind everyone that love is lived in real life, not in a perfectly polished script.

Storytelling in Action: Jasmine and Leo’s Sunrise Ceremony

Jasmine and Leo chose a sunrise ceremony on the marsh, with only a few close family members present, and they worried their story was “too simple” to be interesting.

• As we talked, I learned about their long-distance months, the late-night video calls, and the way they watched the sunrise “together” from different cities to feel closer.
• On their wedding day, I wove this detail into the opening of the ceremony, describing how many sunrises they had already shared apart and how special it was to finally stand side by side as the sky changed together.

As I spoke, the sky shifted from soft gray to pink and gold. Their family later shared that they felt like they were watching a love story unfold in real time, not just attending a ceremony. Thoughtful storytelling turned a small, quiet wedding into something deeply meaningful.

Keeping Guests Engaged Without Making It a Performance

I believe a ceremony can be deeply reverent and still keep guests engaged and awake.

• I avoid overly long, dense readings or monologues that do not connect to you, and instead choose words and rituals that reflect your values, history, and hopes for the future.
• Light touches of humor, brief explanations of rituals, and relatable language help your guests feel included rather than like passive spectators.

When guests hear me say, “If you know these two, you know that…,” and then recognize you in the story that follows, they lean in. They are not just watching; they are emotionally participating.

Another Love Story: David and Claire’s Blended Family Moment

David and Claire were bringing together a blended family with three children and didn’t want the kids to feel like an afterthought.

• I suggested a short moment where each child was named and honored, with simple promises spoken not just between spouses but to the family they were becoming.
• During the ceremony, I shared a brief story about a family board-game night that had become legendary in their home, using it as a picture of teamwork, patience, and laughter.

By the time I said, “I now present to you this beautiful family,” guests were dabbing their eyes, and the children felt truly included. My goal in moments like that is always to honor the whole story, not just the legal moment.

From Pronouncement to Lasting Memory

Those final words, “I now pronounce you…”, are the culmination of an entire emotional journey that I walk with you at Divine Marriage Union.

• From the first inquiry to the last line of the ceremony, I aim to care for you, guide you, and tell your story in a way that feels true to who you are.
• You leave not only married but also deeply seen, supported, and celebrated, with the memory of standing in front of your people... calm enough to be present, joyful enough to laugh and cry, and engaged enough to remember the words spoken over your union.

That is what I do at Divine Marriage Union: keep your ceremony calm, joyful, and anything but boring by honoring your hearts and translating your love story into a once-in-a-lifetime moment.